she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
