So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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