I just made out with a guy for $7.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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