I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
