I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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