i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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