I'm going to jail i love you
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
