His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Damn victory sex feels great
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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