so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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