found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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