nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize