there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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