This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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