I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
