rhymes with "ouble enetration"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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