let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
