I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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