Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
