this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He felt like a one man threesome
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
