Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
