No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
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