can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
