please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
