To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Someone shit on the floor
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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