Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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