Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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