Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
