i think my tv is drunk
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
