i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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