Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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