all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
