bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
