You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
