she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
