I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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