I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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