i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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