I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
