Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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