I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
