the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just pee around me
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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