Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
