have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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