...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize