Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
