dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
