You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
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how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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