I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
