i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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