He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
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A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.