I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
The Olympian is in my bed