Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday