Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem