Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
