So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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