belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Randomize
