Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
