Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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