It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
We are all done wearing pants today
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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