Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
