Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
