I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
