2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
