5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
