You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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