New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
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