why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?