im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!