i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
