You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.